Living with HIV/AIDS
- Submitted by: admin
- Theater
- Health and Medicine
- 10 / 02 / 2007
«My vein was canalized; I had a high fever and while receiving the antibiotic I heard the nurse say something that took my sleep away: I would rather be dead than get this disease.» Since then that phrase always accompanies me. It is like a shadow that wakes me up in the early hours of
the morning.
That day I tore out the needle and left but I havent been able to erase her expression and look: with every relapse fear tumbles in. This is what was most hurtful for those of us who live with HIV/AIDS.
«In spite of everything I have managed to live as calm a life as possible. Ihave even managed to erase her presence from my mind for several months. Daily life involves you, its thousand responsibilities, happiness that are gifts of life ... the world doesnt end with AIDS and living makes me completely forget that I am ill.»
" What do you remember about your disease?
"Living with HIV implies enormous care that can become excessive and a constant reminder that you are sick. But you get used to it. You get used to it like food you take to your mouth and it does not damage your spirit or joy.
«The things that remind you like a curse are the lack of respect and knowledge of persons that often make the memory painful, although in my case I realize that I am lucky.»
"In spite of human miseries?
"Yes. HIV came when I was happiest. Since my childhood my dream was to be in the theater and days after receiving that news I founded my own company: El Viento [The Wind] that had been in frank consolidation. It settled when I needed it most. How intelligent is life!
«However, together with that joy that I lived with at every moment ... if death could be described, I would dare to do it. I even began to write poetry that I have never read and never showed anyone because of its heavy charge of sadness.
«With the diagnosis my world shriveled and my heart was in a vise. However, the multi-factorial attention in the sanatorium helped me out of that agony.
I remember two names of exceptional people: Tinquete and Osvaldo. In only 21 days I assumed, above and in spite of the disease, that there was hope and there is a reason to live.
«Later I was given anti-retrovirals: I take six pills a day. How many people with AIDS are dying in the world because they dont have the medication? How lucky for me to be Cuban and live in Cuba!
«Also, having AIDS allowed me to consider the family I have because not all those with this disease have that luck. I am also fortunate in having my friends and my success with the public. Thanks to such a wealth I was able to grow and not end up on the street.»
"If you could describe those moments what is always in your mind?
"There are good moments but also very bad ones. Among the first I remember my mother wishing she were the one who was sick and not I...or when my brothers cried with me when I found out. These are very sad moments but also very beautiful.
«But I am also marked by the attitude of a director of the art center, who,violating all ethics, vetoed my desire to be a theater professor. She blocked my wish, alleging a lack of preparation, though I was and am, a professional. I investigated and complied and the truth came out: AIDS.
«After the investigation, apologies rained down but I was unable, at least in that course, to get into teaching. I remember it was a very hard year because at the end I had to live through the bad spot of disdain. I did not recover emotionally until a public of children and young persons began to heal the wounds.»
"What's needed to recover from each blow?
"Neither a heart of steel nor vengeance, nor hate. You must value yourself as a person, to be the best professional and the best human being, above all things. Having AIDS cannot be hidden. You have to live with it as if it were a diabetic. Whoever lives avoiding the truth is a slave of himself.
«Of course, I dont question anyone. It's not easy to endure the people's onslaught. Even maintaining or finding a partner is always a problem.
Although it affects me I tell the truth but with fear: there are those who dont accept it and move away but, above all this, I sleep calmly.»
"Do you find the questions from your students in the classroom hard?
"There are many questions, mostly about contagion. When I told them I acquired the disease during a stable relationship by not protecting myself, the message gets through and there are those who are very concerned. I think the classroom has made me a promoter of health.
«There has been a very good opening up about AIDS lately and there is information which was lacking before and this helps in being accepted. It is always difficult, however. At the beginning I was afraid, but with time and the prestige you obtain as teacher and with this new stage of knowledge, reality is different.»
"Do you follow the steps of El Viento...?
"Metaphorically my answer is yes, I am like the wind, anywhere. Professionally, we have achieved unimaginable things and have visited places where a theater company had not appeared.
"Projects?
"To talk about projects in my life is rather comical. The question is that since I was diagnosed with the disease, nine years ago, every time I begin one, I ask life to be allowed to enjoy it. This has become a defense mechanism, like a spiritual support or something like that. I have seen 12 projects through.
«Now I am preparing a performance for next year on the subject of AIDS. It is the first time I dare to do it because I have quite a bit of experience accumulated which allows me to deal with the personages. I just hope to find everything in the story: laughter, tears ... but it will also be a work where reflection accompanies each scene. I have made this project a commitment with myself and with young people.»
"What do you fear?
"The most difficult is aside from sanitarium attention: not at home or in society. I fear an accident and falling into the hands of someone like that nurse ... I fear disdain, discrimination... I fear this interview.»
"Why have you granted it?
"Because I can maintain my anonymity and... I dont know. Perhaps because I am not the same young man who was diagnosed at the age of 21. I feel I have matured and assumed my reality.
"Your desires?
"Logically for a cure to appear and if it's a more immediate thing, I would wish to continue breathing as now and to eternally count on such good friends and my family.
the morning.
That day I tore out the needle and left but I havent been able to erase her expression and look: with every relapse fear tumbles in. This is what was most hurtful for those of us who live with HIV/AIDS.
«In spite of everything I have managed to live as calm a life as possible. Ihave even managed to erase her presence from my mind for several months. Daily life involves you, its thousand responsibilities, happiness that are gifts of life ... the world doesnt end with AIDS and living makes me completely forget that I am ill.»
" What do you remember about your disease?
"Living with HIV implies enormous care that can become excessive and a constant reminder that you are sick. But you get used to it. You get used to it like food you take to your mouth and it does not damage your spirit or joy.
«The things that remind you like a curse are the lack of respect and knowledge of persons that often make the memory painful, although in my case I realize that I am lucky.»
"In spite of human miseries?
"Yes. HIV came when I was happiest. Since my childhood my dream was to be in the theater and days after receiving that news I founded my own company: El Viento [The Wind] that had been in frank consolidation. It settled when I needed it most. How intelligent is life!
«However, together with that joy that I lived with at every moment ... if death could be described, I would dare to do it. I even began to write poetry that I have never read and never showed anyone because of its heavy charge of sadness.
«With the diagnosis my world shriveled and my heart was in a vise. However, the multi-factorial attention in the sanatorium helped me out of that agony.
I remember two names of exceptional people: Tinquete and Osvaldo. In only 21 days I assumed, above and in spite of the disease, that there was hope and there is a reason to live.
«Later I was given anti-retrovirals: I take six pills a day. How many people with AIDS are dying in the world because they dont have the medication? How lucky for me to be Cuban and live in Cuba!
«Also, having AIDS allowed me to consider the family I have because not all those with this disease have that luck. I am also fortunate in having my friends and my success with the public. Thanks to such a wealth I was able to grow and not end up on the street.»
"If you could describe those moments what is always in your mind?
"There are good moments but also very bad ones. Among the first I remember my mother wishing she were the one who was sick and not I...or when my brothers cried with me when I found out. These are very sad moments but also very beautiful.
«But I am also marked by the attitude of a director of the art center, who,violating all ethics, vetoed my desire to be a theater professor. She blocked my wish, alleging a lack of preparation, though I was and am, a professional. I investigated and complied and the truth came out: AIDS.
«After the investigation, apologies rained down but I was unable, at least in that course, to get into teaching. I remember it was a very hard year because at the end I had to live through the bad spot of disdain. I did not recover emotionally until a public of children and young persons began to heal the wounds.»
"What's needed to recover from each blow?
"Neither a heart of steel nor vengeance, nor hate. You must value yourself as a person, to be the best professional and the best human being, above all things. Having AIDS cannot be hidden. You have to live with it as if it were a diabetic. Whoever lives avoiding the truth is a slave of himself.
«Of course, I dont question anyone. It's not easy to endure the people's onslaught. Even maintaining or finding a partner is always a problem.
Although it affects me I tell the truth but with fear: there are those who dont accept it and move away but, above all this, I sleep calmly.»
"Do you find the questions from your students in the classroom hard?
"There are many questions, mostly about contagion. When I told them I acquired the disease during a stable relationship by not protecting myself, the message gets through and there are those who are very concerned. I think the classroom has made me a promoter of health.
«There has been a very good opening up about AIDS lately and there is information which was lacking before and this helps in being accepted. It is always difficult, however. At the beginning I was afraid, but with time and the prestige you obtain as teacher and with this new stage of knowledge, reality is different.»
"Do you follow the steps of El Viento...?
"Metaphorically my answer is yes, I am like the wind, anywhere. Professionally, we have achieved unimaginable things and have visited places where a theater company had not appeared.
"Projects?
"To talk about projects in my life is rather comical. The question is that since I was diagnosed with the disease, nine years ago, every time I begin one, I ask life to be allowed to enjoy it. This has become a defense mechanism, like a spiritual support or something like that. I have seen 12 projects through.
«Now I am preparing a performance for next year on the subject of AIDS. It is the first time I dare to do it because I have quite a bit of experience accumulated which allows me to deal with the personages. I just hope to find everything in the story: laughter, tears ... but it will also be a work where reflection accompanies each scene. I have made this project a commitment with myself and with young people.»
"What do you fear?
"The most difficult is aside from sanitarium attention: not at home or in society. I fear an accident and falling into the hands of someone like that nurse ... I fear disdain, discrimination... I fear this interview.»
"Why have you granted it?
"Because I can maintain my anonymity and... I dont know. Perhaps because I am not the same young man who was diagnosed at the age of 21. I feel I have matured and assumed my reality.
"Your desires?
"Logically for a cure to appear and if it's a more immediate thing, I would wish to continue breathing as now and to eternally count on such good friends and my family.
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