Jorge Mario Bergoglio, who ascended to the highest authority of the Catholic Church in March 2013 as Pope Francis, seems to have missed a unique opportunity to appoint Nicolás Maduro as the exorcist of the Diocese of Rome. Given his alleged sixth sense for identifying demons and pacts with the Devil, Bergoglio might have relied on his good friend Maduro to combat the forces of evil and reduce Satan worshippers to ashes.
Small indeed is the 'Prayer to Saint Michael against Satan and the Rebellious Angels' compared to the fiery tongue of Maduro. Imbued with his faith in Jesus, the first anti-imperialist in history who, according to him in October 2023, fought against the Spanish Empire 3,000 years ago, the tenant of the Palace of Miraflores claims to have more exorcising power than the Holy Rosary.
Maduro's Latest Accusations
In early August, Maduro accused billionaire Elon Musk and Argentine President Javier Milei of being Satanists. This Saturday, his "eye of Sauron" detected new malevolent vibes from opposition leader María Corina Machado.
"Look, compatriots, we are up against demons. When I say we are up against demons, I'm not exaggerating. They have a satanic pact with the Satanic Church of the United States. The Sayona [a derogatory term for Machado] wears a medallion and other strange things because she has a pact with Elon Musk and the Satanic Church of Detroit. That's why I say we are facing a satanic Goliath," he proclaimed to his followers.
These are the words of a dictator who committed electoral fraud, ordered subsequent repression, and seeks to illegitimately govern over 28 million Venezuelans. This is chavismo in its purest, most delusional state. With the relics of Chávez and Fidel, and the continuous repetition of nonsensical prayers and expulsion orders, Maduro aims at least to defeat the Devil in the beyond of his neurons, as he failed to defeat María Corina Machado in the civic arena, where the reality and intelligence of Venezuelans prevailed.
Mysteriously, Maduro's tirade against María Corina Machado elicited a response from the Satanic Church itself. They took to X (formerly Twitter, until Musk bought it) to make their opinion clear with a single word in Spanish: "Estúpido."
For those who need to conjure up those and other qualities of the dictator, CubaHeadlines shares the plea of Leo XIII:
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
Understanding Maduro's Claims and Their Implications
In light of Maduro's recent allegations, several questions arise about the implications and context of his statements. Here are some frequently asked questions and their answers:
What did Maduro accuse María Corina Machado of?
Maduro accused opposition leader María Corina Machado of having a satanic pact with Elon Musk and the Detroit Satanic Church.
How did the Satanic Church respond to Maduro's claims?
The Satanic Church responded to Maduro's claims on X, formerly Twitter, calling him "estúpido" (stupid).
Why is Maduro's accusation against Elon Musk and María Corina Machado significant?
The accusation is significant because it reflects Maduro's increasingly erratic and conspiratorial rhetoric, which he uses to discredit his political opponents and distract from his own governance issues.